Ranking Every LOST Episode, Part 2: #100-91

Welcome to the second installment of my LOST rankings! I'm not sure how soon the next one will be up, as I had most of this one already written a while ago, and I've barely started on the third installment. I hope this one will tide you over in the meantime.

Part 1: #111-101
Part 2: #100-91
Part 3: #90-81
Part 4: #80-71
Part 5: #70-61
Part 6: #60-51
Part 7: #50-41
Part 8: #40-31
Part 9: #30-21
Part 10: #20-11
Part 11: #10-1

100. "Do No Harm" (ep. 120)

What? The episode where Aaron is born? The episode where Boone becomes the first major character to die? That's powerful stuff! Shouldn't this one be ranked much higher? Well...yes, it probably should. The fact is though, I'm a squeamish person when it comes to blood and intense medical situations (I get uncomfortable watching Doogie Howser sometimes), so it's hard for me to sit still during this episode.

"Do No Harm" deserves a lot of credit for the final wellup-inducing score montage in which the survivors meet Aaron while Shannon sobs over her brother's lifeless body (that "Life and Death" theme may be LOST's most effective piece of music). To a lesser extent, there's also the moment when Claire accepts her role as a mother while giving birth. The flashback, where Jack's inability to let go of things he commits to is established, isn't particularly interesting. Maybe it's because I'm not a big fan of weddings.

99. "Adrift" (ep. 202)

I know Michael and Walt weren't the most popular characters, but sue me, I cared about them. Michael's single-minded impulsiveness could be frustrating, but honestly, I'd probably be a lot like him if I were a father. I'm not saying I enjoy his often-annoying behavior, I'm just saying I understand it. The backstory, which focuses on Michael's custody battle for Walt, is the best thing this episode has going for it. We find out why Michael, who clearly wanted to be a part of his son's life, ended up relinquishing his paternal rights, and the scene at the end where Michael tells toddler Walt goodbye is touching. Other than that, this episode is just OK.

Michael and Sawyer's scenes on the flotsam of their raft are a bit dull. Watching two characters bicker during an intense survival situation isn't my idea of quality entertainment (though it's probably pretty realistic). This episode might also hold the record for the most anguished cries of "Waaaalt!" (if anyone wants to check that out, be my guest), not exactly a point in its favor. The on-island stuff is just a rehash of the hatch entry from the previous episode, except this time it's from Kate and Locke's perspective rather than Jack's. I guess it was necessary for character placement purposes, but having two episodes in a row end with that storyline in the exact same spot feels like a gyp.

98. "A Tale of Two Cities" (ep. 301)

This was most definitely the weakest season premiere. Perhaps it's fitting then, that Season 3 was (in my opinion) the weakest season. In a way, this episode encapsulates all the things that went wrong.

If each season can be thought of as a separate chapter in the LOST story, S3 would be the one where we get to know the Others. That's certainly a big theme in this episode, as it centers completely on Jack, Kate and Sawyer as the Others' prisoners. Kate gets to have breakfast with the former Henry Gale (revealed at the end to be "Ben"), and this strange new half-smiling woman named Juliet keeps visiting Jack. Of course, they don't reveal too much; there's no end date in sight for the series, so they have to keep you in the dark about most of the stuff you're wondering.

Then there's the flashback. Look, we knew Jack was an obsessive person, but he takes it to borderline insane levels here. I've already mentioned how weak the flashbacks in "The Hunting Party" and "Do No Harm" are, and this one, featuring Sarah again, may be the worst of them all. Jack knows Sarah's seeing another man, and starts to suspect that it's his own father. If that weren't Jerry Springer enough for you, we find out Christian's been getting help for his alcohol problems and making progress...until Jack, in a fit of irrationality, physically attacks him at his support group meeting, driving him back to drinking. Sarah's line when she informs Jack his father's off the wagon ("Look at the bright side: Now you have something to fix.") is downright maddening. How on earth did they come up with this story? It's as if they'd run out of ways to develop Jack's character, so they decided just to fill in the empty space between old flashbacks.

The glimpse into the Others' world is interesting and new, but as a whole this episode is unsatisfying.

97. "Something Nice Back Home" (ep. 410)

This one's plagued by some of the same problems as the episode above. Jack's love life is involved again, in this case his off-island romance with Kate. It's so sweet! They even get engaged! If only an argument about Sawyer weren't the tipping point for their breakup. That dang love triangle! At least we see how Jack became the pill-popping mess he was in "Through the Looking Glass" (the call of the island torments him!).

It's still not exactly clear what was going on when Christian appeared to Jack and the smoke alarm went off. It couldn't have been Smokey, since he's trapped on the island, right? Or did the writers change their minds about something somewhere along the line? I have a theory that there's some sort of "island spirit" (kind of like a good smoke monster) that appears to people, but I have nothing to back it up. Perhaps that mystery's going to remain unsolved.

Jack's control freak tendencies make another appearance, and again they border on ridiculous. Wanting to supervise your own appendectomy? Who does that? This is also the episode where Claire disappears after meeting Smokey as Christian in the jungle, which I guess was the producers' way of giving Emilie De Ravin a season off. "Something Nice Back Home" isn't a bad episode, it's just not likely to make many people's "favorite" lists.

96. "Maternity Leave" (ep. 215)

In a rare on-island flashback, we learn what happened to Claire while she was kidnapped. It turns out Ethan was a doctor and he kept her in an old DHARMA medical station. To add an extra layer of creepiness to Ethan's character, he comes across as a very kind person when dealing with Claire. Yep, he's a sociopath. Or just a typical Other. We don't get an explanation for why Ethan had scratches on his face when he came back for Claire in "Homecoming," though I doubt many people besides me noticed that. This episode also introduces us to Alex. While we don't learn definitively that she's Rousseau's daughter, it's hinted at strongly enough that we basically know it. I doubt even the twist-loving writers would've faked us out like that.

Back at the ongoing hatch story, Sayid believes the prisoner is "one of them," and Mr. Eko throws in his implicitly concurrent two cents. The scene where Eko confesses to "Henry Gale" about his killing of two Others is perhaps the finest moment in an otherwise so-so episode. The ending, where Henry messes with Locke's head, only confirms that whoever this strange captive is, he isn't to be trusted.

95. "Recon" (ep. 608)

It sounds dorky, but I'll admit it: The sideways reveal that Sawyer was a cop put a huge smile on my face. It was a hilarious twist I didn't see coming. Once you get past that scene though, the flash is kind of "been there, done that." We see Sawyer (now "Jim") back to searching for the man who conned his parents, except this time he's a lawman rather than an outlaw. Considering Sawyer had settled his score with Anthony Cooper three seasons ago, revisiting that storyline served no apparent purpose.

The island portion feels like another stall job. Fake Locke sends Sawyer on a reconnaissance mission to Hydra Island, where we meet Zoe (not the most significant of recurring characters), we discover the other 316 survivors are dead (tying up a loose end with some redshirts), and Sawyer makes a deal with Widmore (all part of his plan to escape, of course). In the end, very little progress has been made plot-wise or character-wise. This episode offers a few useful pieces of information, but they seem like insufficient returns on the time investment.

94. "Across the Sea" (ep. 615)

I remember how poorly-received this episode was when it first aired. LOST is ultimately a character-driven story, so what do you make of an episode that centers on two characters whose conflict is more a MacGuffin than something we're emotionally invested in? I was among the viewers disappointed by it originally, though I appreciated it more after I'd seen the finale. While mostly a mythology download, some of the background information is significant to the endgame. We finally learn that Jacob's role as "island protector" entails guarding the bright light we'd seen at the donkey wheel, and the finale will later show us the potentially dire consequences of letting that light go out.

Another reason this episode drew the ire of many a fan was that they didn't tell us the Man in Black's name. I completely supported that decision, though. Names symbolize our view of a character to a certain extent, and for us to start calling the Man in Black something different with only two episodes to go would've involved some mind-reshuffling (kind of like how it was hard to call that Henry Gale guy "Ben" at first).

Now that I've defended certain elements, I'll do the obligatory pointing-out-of-flaws. There's the aforementioned issue of us not personally caring about the two featured characters. We know them both as higher beings in the LOST universe, not everyday people we can vicariously experience the adventure through, and one episode isn't enough to make them relatable on that level. While a necessary story to tell, it just wasn't going to have much emotional impact. Also, showing that Season 1 clip at the end? I know, the producers said they wanted to show the audience how events from the past are connected to the present. Sorry, I still oppose the decision (am I sounding pretentious enough with this whole "support" and "oppose" thing?). Maybe the "popcorn" viewers found it useful, but for a hardcore fan like me (and probably you, if you're actually reading this) it was just cheesy.

93. "Every Man For Himself" (ep. 304)

Ah yes. The episode where the Others con Sawyer into thinking his heart's going to explode. If you saw my comments for "Do No Harm" you can probably imagine how comfortable that idea makes me. This one has a few notable reveals, like the fact that the Walt Exchange Three are being held on a separate island and that Jack was brought there to perform a spinal surgery (not earth-shattering stuff, I know). And who can forget that flashback which is complete filler except for the introduction of Sawyer's daughter? Truthfully, the Sawyer-centricity may be the best thing this episode has going for it, as the wily fellow gets his usual plenty of good lines.

From a balance standpoint, this is the first Season 3 episode to show both the Hydra Island arc and the events of the main survivor camp. The main thing we see back at the beach is that Desmond saves Charlie's life for the first time with the golf club lightning rod. We already know something's up with old Des, and here the mystery deepens.

92. "S.O.S." (ep. 219)

Obviously the #92 ranking doesn't put this episode in elite company, but it is an enjoyable experience. We finally get Rose and Bernard's backstory, and it isn't the racial unity tale from the civil rights era that some fans were expecting. Who would've guessed the two of them were in Australia for their honeymoon? I assume the producers didn't take their story too far into the past because using new actors to play younger versions of Rose and Bernard would've created sort of a disconnect. I can back that.

Anyway, it turns out that long before they settled into their joint role as "recurring reminder of what's really important in life," Rose was dying of cancer and Bernard, like fellow castaways Jack and Boone, suffered from a compulsive need to fix things. Now on the island, Bernard's still struggling with that issue and Rose is cancer-free, except...the island was what cured her, not the faith healer Bernard spent ten grand on. Bernard, of course, thinks the faith healer did it, so Rose tries to thwart her husband's "SOS" sign in order to cover her lie.

I have to say, it seems that viewers tend to like Rose better than Bernard, but I think I favor our man Bernie. He's a nice guy and an all-around devoted husband, and yet...Rose spends so much time nagging him and putting him down. It's pretty cruel the way she belittles his plan for the "SOS" sign, and you can't help but feel bad for him when his project fails to get off the ground. I mean, he's only trying to get everyone rescued. At least he's not interfering with anything like Boone, or being annoyingly obsessive like Jack. The scene where she finally stops playing games with Bernard and tells him what's going on is not only relieving, but a tender moment as well.

A tradition from Season 1 is resurrected at the end (thanks to the hatch's record player): a music montage with popular music! It's difficult to raise any objection to the soulful sounds of Otis Redding, and the montage focuses mainly on the island's couples. Usually I'm kind of cynical when it comes to the coupling obsession (everyone should be bitter and single like me!), but knowing how flawed each of these characters is makes me appreciate the miracle of anyone ever getting together at all. All things considered, this isn't the most compelling of episodes, but you can't complain about how nice it makes you feel.

91. "I Do" (ep. 306)

Not bad...for a Kate-centric. This, of course, is the one where Kate and Sawyer consummate their relationship after all the sexual tension, and even though I'm not into the whole love triangle thing, it was a turning point for the characters. At some point they had to quit toying with each other and be honest about how they felt.

The flashback doesn't really add much (hey, it was Season 3), but it does fill in the gaps from "Outlaws" and "The Whole Truth" where Kate mentioned being married once and taking a pregnancy test, respectively. I guess they were obligated to show us those things at some point, although they weren't monumental necessities. Other than that, the flashback only reinforces Kate's pathological inability to stay situated.

The legendary cliffhanger line ("Kate, damn it, run!") is ironic in a way, given that Kate usually runs without prompting. Is her hesitance to flee supposed to show us that she's growing as a person? Or that her love for Jack is true (as opposed to her non-true love for Kevin in the flashback)? Well, "The End" showed us that Jack and Kate were each other's soulmates, so clearly this was foreshadowing!